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Red Pill, Trad Wives, Soft Girl Era? Examples with Christian Homemaker Perspective

Wynona

Wynona

Member
I feel nervous posting here but I still would like to try.

Lately, I like my threads to be sort of ongoing collections of reactions, videos, memes, and personal articles I can build while answering some questions and welcoming different views.

This thread is about gender related movements going strong today amongst Gen Z and similar generations and what it means in light of my own biblical patriarchy view.
 
When I think if the TradWife movement that started on Tiktok around 2021, I think of Estee Williams.
View: https://youtube.com/shorts/RhBqEmvHR8w?si=OSUwmnFRXP9GKPre


She is Christian but many in the movement are simply interested in traditional roles for women for other reasons and believe it could make their lives and relationships. happier.

I see this movement as a positive reaction to feminism's anti homemaker influence on society.

However, I worry that it paints too rosy a picture of traditional feminine roles. I became a housewife in 2019 before my husband and I had childrens. It did drastically improve our marriage and both our lives but this is not an easy path in every season.

I believe having the fear of God and a moral impetus to stay the course is what it takes for the times when that home life is not so lovely.

The tradwife movement highlights the glamour and benefits of traditional roles. I believe they mostly do well and live better lives. But the Christian perspective on suffering and setbacks helps this lifestyle stick. I am already seeing articles of women lamenting the hardships of being stay at home moms and how its not all its cracked up to be.

Overall though, I believe it's a rare sign of health in the dying culture of the western world.
 
I've been blessed with two ENTIRELY traditional marriages (lost my first wife to breast cancer after 33 years, now married to my second for 17). I was aware pretty much every nanosecond what a blessing this was. Since I was a lawyer, many of my coworkers and acquaintances were married to other lawyers or at least Career Women. I absolutely could never understand the appeal of such a relationship, regardless of what income it produced or what fabulous toys they owned.

In a marriage, there are two distinct and equally valuable roles. The only way a "non-traditional" marriage ever made sense to me was if Dad stayed home and truly fulfilled the role of Mom - but since the roles are (I believe) largely gender-based, that really doesn't work. Whether we derive our notions of marriage from the Bible or simply nature, distinct male and female roles certainly seems to be the plan.

In the vast majority of cases, I could never understand why the Career World was more appealing to women than the role of a wife in a traditional marriage. I also loved the lame excuses as to why the woman "had" or "needed" to work - in some cases this may have been true, but not many. I actually used to envy my wives - their roles seemed far more diverse, interesting, challenging and rewarding than my daily drudgery as a lawyer that was supposed to be more "fulfilling" according to the Feminist myth.

Back in the 1970s, in my law school days, when the Feminist movement was still fairly new, one of my professors said "If you think the Civil Rights movement caused massive upheaval, wait until you see what this does." Unpopular as my views may be, I do think the Feminist movement and its ripples have been the single most destructive force in my lifetime.

I had never heard of Estee Williams - surprise, surprise - but the obvious irony that strikes me is that she seems to have forged rather a sizable Career out of being a "Tradwife Influencer." She was apparently a meteorologist before that. I can't say that I sense a lot of authenticity in her videos. She is a cutie, however, if we're allowed to make that observation.
 
O'Darby III said:
Unpopular as my views may be, I do think the Feminist movement and its ripples have been the single most destructive force in my lifetime.
Click to expand...


Unfortunately I agree. (Hi O'Darby. I'm so glad to hear about your great experience with marriage!!)

I attribute the following problems to being caused or made worse by feminism

- Obesity
- Divorce
- Abortion
- Mental Health Crisis
- Male purposelessness/loneliness
- Porn addiction
- Abandonment issues
O'Darby III said:
I had never heard of Estee Williams - surprise, surprise - but the obvious irony that strikes me is that she seems to have forged rather a sizable Career out of being a "Tradwife Influencer." She was apparently a meteorologist before that. I can't say that I sense a lot of authenticity in her videos.
Click to expand...

Yes. The movement tends to be very gimmicky. Real homemaking is not always that glitzy.

O'Darby III said:
She is a cutie, however, if we're allowed to make that observation
Click to expand...

How ironic. The reason why I was nervous was because I wondered if I was intruding as an outsider or a woman in a sort of guy-only space.

I think she's cute! I suppose we both must take the risk.

 
@O'Darby III

Id like to ask you something.

Imo, feminism's strongest argument is that women should not have to depend on a man financially and if she marries, her husband could leave or pass away suddenly.

I have my answer. What would you say to this?
 
Wynona said:
I attribute the following problems to being caused or made worse by feminism

- Obesity
- Divorce
- Abortion
- Mental Health Crisis
- Male purposelessness/loneliness
- Porn addiction
- Abandonment issues
Click to expand...
For those who drink the Feminist Kool-Aid (and MANY do, even if they don't consume it by the gallon), it basically pits women against men as The Enemy. It seems to me almost entirely destructive of the way that male-female relationships are supposed to be. I also think many women experience the psychological trauma of discovering they've been sold a bill of goods - the supposedly "fulfilling" and "empowering" Career Life is just the drudgery most men even in highly paid professional careers have always found it to be. I remember many times looking at the stressed-out women in my office, shuffling papers and answering phones with the rest of us, and thinking "Explain to me how THIS is more rewarding and fulfilling than the life you would have in a traditional marriage."
Wynona said:
@O'Darby III

Id like to ask you something.

Imo, feminism's strongest argument is that women should not have to depend on a man financially and if she marries, her husband could leave or pass away suddenly.

I have my answer. What would you say to this?
Click to expand...
Well, I did always carry plenty of term life insurance - for anyone short of an old fart like me, it's ridiculously cheap. When I married my current wife at age 57 (53 for her), I had a $1 million policy in place and her name on all the property before she'd even arrived here from Belarus as my fiance. So that would largely take care of the "pass away suddenly" concern. And, of course, a widow is no longer in a marriage at all, so there would be nothing untraditional about working for a period until she remarries if this is a financial necessity.

As far as the husband leaving, there is no guarantee against this - which is why choosing your marital partner carefully and making sure he takes the marriage vows seriously is the key. A shared faith commitment is obviously a great help. My attitude was always that a marriage was a forever commitment - divorce would simply never be an option no matter how many times my wife burnt the tacos. :) I am completely against prenuptial agreements because "this may not last" is implicit in them. However, an interesting twist would be a prenup where the husband makes extravagant financial promises to the wife if he breaks the marriage. That would show a serious level of commitment - quite the opposite of the usual prenup.

OK, tell us your answer!
 
Wynona said:
Yes. The movement tends to be very gimmicky. Real homemaking is not always that glitzy.
Click to expand...
I did watch a long video where she answered the host's straightforward and sometimes challenging questions, and she came off very well - not at all unauthentic or an airhead.

Probably no less authentic than the 1950s "typical housewife." :)

should-you-be-like-an-old-fashioned-1950s-housewife-vintage-woman-artwork.jpg
 
O'Darby III said:
I also think many women experience the psychological trauma of discovering they've been sold a bill of goods - the supposedly "fulfilling" and "empowering" Career Life is just the drudgery most men even in highly paid professional careers have always found it to be. I remember many times looking at the stressed-out women in my office, shuffling papers and answering phones with the rest of us, and thinking "Explain to me how THIS is more rewarding and fulfilling than the life you would have in a traditional marriage."
Click to expand...
This is so awesome! Can I quote you saying this in a thread I have discussing feminism and biblical marriage roles at CB?

O'Darby III said:
OK, tell us your answer!
Click to expand...
Marriage is risky on it's face. A relationship with no risk is hardly a relationship worth having. More needs to be explained about the risks of career-centeredness for women who want marriage.

A married woman can face real hardship should her husband pass away suddenly. But I also believe she can work and be in a prime position to remarry should she wish.

"I had a healthy fulfilling marriage in my past where I took care of my man's needs and managed the home."

That may sound better to male suitors than, "I am highly competent in my education and career and don't need you in any tangible way."

I've never heard a man complain about a woman who's situation was too modest and could easily be improved by a financially competent man.
 
Wynona said:
This is so awesome! Can I quote you saying this in a thread I have discussing feminism and biblical marriage roles at CB?
Click to expand...
Sure, no problem. I really did have many discussions with my first wife about how much I envied her role - and she NEVER said she envied mine!
 
O'Darby III said:
The only way a "non-traditional" marriage ever made sense to me was if Dad stayed home and truly fulfilled the role of Mom
Click to expand...
This what a couple of friends of mine from work did. He was one of my golf-buddies and had some crummy job keeping track of parts in the warehouse (and telling me I couldn't get the parts I needed). She had an engineering degree, was really good at what she did (one of the best I've ever worked with), and made 2x-3x what he did. When their first child came along, it was a logical move: She went back to work doing what she was really good at; he became a stay-at-home dad and raised two kids. It helped that her parents lived close by and her (very traditional Cuban) mom was there to help out.
 
Wynona said:
Imo, feminism's strongest argument is that women should not have to depend on a man financially and if she marries, her husband could leave or pass away suddenly.
Click to expand...
My wife was forced to take up a career somewhat late in life. She put up with being thrown into walls and kicked with steel-toed boots for 10 years, but when it started up on her youngest son, that was when she knew it was time to get out of that marriage. She became an elementary school teacher to support her two kids. She was really good at it, too. She has a real heart for children.

The feminist movement started back in the 60s and 70s when I was a kid. Back then, stuff like that wasn't talked about much. A woman was expected to put up with it.

Anyway, that's one of the reasons I'm somewhat sympathetic to the feminist movement.

And one of the reasons my wife carries a gun.
 
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